join us, won't you?

expectations vs. reality

traditional vs. well, not

society's "rules" vs. i do what i want

so far, these subjects, in regards to this little wedding I'm throwing, are in an edgy but peaceful interweave, currently in balance, but running just short of straight.up.tangled.  the handful of details I share over the next few weeks about the wedding are shining examples of this beautiful mess i've created.

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there was time, about four years ago, when i sat in the living room Pallie and i shared in Nashville and as I was addressing her wedding invitations i thought, "without a doubt, I'll definitely pay someone to do this for me when my day comes."

...and here I am and not only have I addressed the damn things, the entire design was done by my hand! eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk

and boy has it been a labor of love 

 {and a little bit of hate}

while I am so excited and proud of them now, it may be the most vulnerable and unsure I've ever felt when it comes to my artistic/creative side.  with my paintings and collages, i am content enough because at least i like them and know they can live in my house if no one else likes them -- then when people rave over them {and i continue to turn down lots of $$$ for my ferris wheel piece} it is obviously fulfilling and definitely encouraging, so the balance is great and it truly feels like a positive creative outlet.

but these bad boys, these invites, in the simplest form of black ink on kraft paper, may as well have been the offspring of the notorious "starry nights & mona lisa" when it comes to the complex conflict filling my brain and testing my confidence.

through the process i have sketched no less that 50 design options, run several fine point sharpies dry, cried a little, cussed a lot and I may or may not have thrown the entire clipboard & all the papers that accompanied it clear across the room in a fit of utter frustration {Mom, quiet!; please don't confirm or deny...}

But here she is in all her glory.  Her nontraditional type and conversational content, that rebellious yellow "curry" envelope flanked with causally addressed names of our favorite folks... i think she's kinda cute.

Willie. Sweet Willie...I swear he has asked {in secret and not in secret} everyone he knows that is receiving an invitation to please call, email, text or send smoke signals to let me know how much they love him {whether they really do or not} because he has had to listen to my wonder and worry for weeks now.  HAHAHA! He does not {and never will} understand all the angst I went put myself through. To him, it is the most minor, minute detail that is literally black ink on kraft paper.  He appreciates them, likes them and is thrilled that I followed through and did what I really wanted to do, but in his most simplistic, black+white rationale he continues to shake his head in wonder at this crazy creature he's about to call his wife.

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I pretty much can't blame him.  :)

but now that they're printed, stamped and sent...i really feel like they were worth it.  and hope i feel the same way fifty years from today.