the 4 hour bridal party

I was a bridesmaid in wedding #11 two weeks ago -- which is one of the several reasons why i am not having a bridal party. 

i'm tired. and old.

i have genuinely loved and have been so incredibly honored to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor in each of these weddings.  they are some of the best memories of the last decade of my life, actually.

I love my friends, adore my sisters, and want them all there -- but this is me giving them and my sanity a giant gift.  managing bridesmaids and groomsmen becomes a full time job for me and is quite time and money consuming for them.   besides i'd have to have approximately 37.5 and that's over a third of the entire invitation list.

this subject is one of those where everyone has an opinion mostly dictated by "what everybody else is doing" and "what you're supposed to do".  and I'll admit, in moments of pure drama, girl craze and holy shit i've only got one chance to to this --  i've seriously questioned if I should have just bitten the bullet, called my gals & chosen the dresses.

*will i miss that wild bachelorette party? the excuse for a vacation with my favorite people?
*am i offending these girls who matter so much in my life?
*don't the bridesmaids dresses and the groomsman's get up, complete the palette?

i have answers to each of those questions that don't change my decision whatsoever.  however, with just over a week out from the big day, the only question, the only thing i'm already missing is that special 4 hour slot of time just before the wedding.

you know the one that starts with mimosas, bloody mary's and button up shirts?
the tears fought back and cussing that ensues with getting your hair did and make up done with the beaming bride?
...that's the part of the experience that means the most to me.

so i'm taking care of that wonder and "what if" with an open invitation to several of my favorite gals, to come to the farm early, to drink some beer or that late afternoon bloody mary.  
    to tell me if my hair looks ridic, that i need to put on more blush and brush my teeth 
    to talk about how cool i used to be: how i was wildcatting & playing the field just over a year ago.  
    to prepare a plan as to how i'm going to make willie stop talking about immediately having children. 
    to reassure me that I won't forget the vows i've memorized and that it's ok that i'll ugly cry.

...that's the part i'm taking advantage of.  the "4 hour bridal party", if you will.

truly, the girls that would be the bridal party are the only friends I really invited. i am so fortunate to have many especially strong and special women from every stage of my life; high school, college, Nashville 8 years ago and Nashville now -- and they live all over the ole U S of A.

more than anything, i just want them there. 
present.
to enjoy the day, look forward to the day, consider it a reunion, 
and just plain
celebrate.