life with a boy :: part two

Upon our return from an awesome weekend away, we had two large boxes on our front porch awaiting our arrival. I hadn't placed an order and Collin hadn't mentioned anything, so my mind went to work for half a second: "boy I sure love surprises!" and "what has my mom been up to this time?!" But we had friends with us so I quickly became distracted with hugs and goodbyes and unpacking the car.

Come to find out, Collin knew exactly what was in those boxes all the while.

No sooner than I walked in the front door Collin had the boxes on the kitchen counter with a knife ready to open them all. The scene rivaled Christmas morning. I was a bit perplexed and the exchange went something like this....

Collin: Hey babe, come here, come here, come here, you wanna come help me open ALL this awesome stuff I bought for us? I know you're going to love it. This is the order I made from Long Lake, remember?

Me: Oh yeah! Exciting, it's finally here?! {I have NO idea what he is talking about}

Collin: Yeah, fortunately, none of this stuff has to be refrigerated until opened so it's no big deal that it's been on the porch while we've been out of town.

Me: *lightbulb* He told me a week ago he was going to order us more country hams for the season and once they were cured they'd be sent to us. Although I was sure this was too soon, it was worth a shot -- "How cool to come home and have country hams waiting for us...thanks for remembering to do this. Guess that means I'll have to get up and cook breakfast in the mornin!"

Collin: What?? No, this is the order of all the pickled stuff I ordered plus new mixers for our bar, remember? See, look?

Me: *speechless* -- "Can I please just go get my camera, before you put all this stuff up?"
Collin: Um, sure...but what are you going to do with the pictures?

Me: I don't know, I just. need to. I like jars and this is all so, so...colorful?
Collin: Hmmm. Ok?

Me: After some awkward conversation from me about the hues of pickled pork hocks being artsy for photos and his disturbing comments about the lengthy shelf life of these hillbilly delights I confessed -- "Ok, so you turned me on to pickled okra & asparagus and I love that it's a constant in our fridge now. And I know you love pickled eggs, but I kinda thought they were just something you bought from the gas station on occasion."

He looks at me with a pitiful face of confusion and heartbreak like I'm totally judging him -- "Ok. And I'm laughing out loud because I really don't remember you telling me about placing this order and really the fact that you love and are passionate about anything and all things pickled and go to the effort to order two large boxes from Wisconsin just makes me want to pinch your cheeks and wonder why I'm so lucky."

Collin: so serious he takes a semi-defeated deep breath -- "I just don't see why you think this is weird."

Me: I look across my counter top and immediately the smile cannot be wiped off my face -- "I know you don't and it's really not weird. Let's just go find the perfect place to put them."
..
So no friends, your eyes aren't deceiving you...those labels you see there are pickled pork hocks, pickled eggs {regular & cajun flavored, mind you}, picked pork sausage {which I tasted tonight & brushed my teeth obsessively 3 times after wards}, pickled asparagus, mushrooms, garlic & green beans...all garnishes for the Margarita and Bloody Mary mixes that also came as part of our perfectly postmarked porchfront pickled package.