Heard Girls Nashville: Sunday

On Sunday we were fortunate enough to have another wonderful experience.  

The root was the same.

The problem the same.

The situation couldn't be more different.

......................................................

Pallie was connected to Trina of Mending Hearts through one of her contacts at Vanderbilt. One email to Trina and she knew we needed to go there. We needed to help them. Trina didn't mind when we came. She didn't mind how much time we could offer. She couldn't believe our group...a group coming from Georgia (everyone but me)...really wanted to help her organization.

She couldn't believe it.

Unlike our experience on Saturday, Mending Hearts is a young, growing, grassroots organization, that is not as financially stable or as popular as other non-profits and truly (unfortunately) gets little volunteer help.

And more than anything they rarely, if ever, have someone ask: "What can we do for you?"

Trina is in her forties now but in high school she was a basketball star with Division 1 scholarship offers. Because she had no parental guidance or someone who told her she could do better or was worth it, she opted for a local state college where she played basketball for only one season. There, she soon found acceptance that she'd never had before...she found it in a man who promised her the world, and she believed him.  The next stage in her life as a young woman landed her with a tragic drug addiction, homelessness, divorce, abuse, 3 children and multiple incarcerations.  This stage lasted 25 years. And she shamelessly told us all about it...she shared her story hoping and knowing we'd think of her again. We'd think of her story and be more educated, more understanding.

Currently...

Trina is clean. She is finishing her bachelors degree at a local university. She is married. Her kids that were in "the system" while she was using and in jail are now back with her. She and another lady (with a similar story) started Mending Hearts to help women who are much like they were not many years ago.  

The ladies who are in recovery at Mending Hearts come to the organization straight from jail or as a last resort from being homeless or on the verge of homelessness due to mental illness, drugs, alcohol addiction and/or prostitution.  Mending Hearts has qualified medical and counseling services and there are several "levels" of the program depending on what stage of recovery each woman is in.  They are creating a "campus" of sorts in a neighborhood where they have purchased several ranch-style homes. One, larger house, is for treatment and the others are for women transitioning back into the "real world."  So what she needed from our group was work on one of the houses...not just hanging pictures and curtains; she needed us to paint.  The house was separated into two duplex-like sections; each with two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room and kitchen. We also painted the entire EXTERIOR of the house.

Oh yes we did.

Trina couldn't believe it and we couldn't either, really.

Mending Hearts has minimal resources, they provided some of the supplies, but we volunteered to go and buy several things we knew we needed to get the job done.  Trina trusted us and was grateful beyond measure.  What I will never forget are the multiple times during the day when folks would ride by and speak to her or ask her what was going on and she would say: "the ladies came ALL THE WAY from Georgia to help US!?! Can you believe it?"

The morning was cold, really cold, and most of us were not adequately dressed as we never imagined that we'd be painting the exterior of a house.  But our group sucked it up, chose to do the outside job, and we did it.  The first hour or so we painted with sponge (arts & crafts) brushes and used rollers with no handles.  We turned our clothes and coats inside out so if we got paint on them it wouldn't be so bad and we did whatever we could do to make progress before the proper supplies arrived.

Everyone smiled the whole time, too.

Honestly, at one point when we were trying to decide which direction to go, I looked around and as the huge task of painting four full sides of the house became a bit daunting, I simply mentioned to the outside group, "you know, let's just focus on the front. in reality we won't be able do any other part so let's just focus on making the front look GREAT"

Y'all....in about seven hours we finished the prep work, main color and full trim on the front and both sides of the house. Only the back is left to be done.

house before. plain red brick.

in progress...

end of the day: final touches; finished product

The inside of the house had a drab neutral color on the walls that was dingy, dirty and who knows how old.  They needed more scrapers, but made do. They didn't have enough tools to fill in the holes in the walls, so they used their fingers. There was little space to move, there were unwanted rodents and a few other obstacles but our girls never ONCE complained, never ONCE stopped....they never looked back and dove in head first.

We packed our lunches and took only a 30 minute lunch break on the sidewalk. We had to beg folks to take a break and beg a few more to finish their meal before they headed back to work. I cannot say it enough...you have NEVER seen a group of volunteers like ours.  Nobody got the after lunch lazies and the smiles stayed the same; with the glee of the completion coming soon.

I can't complete this post with out talking about D*. If you ask any of the girls about our time at Mending Hearts, it's likely they'll mention D first.  D has been at Mending Hearts for only 1.5 weeks.  She has mental illness, anger issues, a childhood that will send chills through your body, a history of drug abuse and also a history of sobriety; ten years until last May.  Due to some simple circumstances, she spun out of control again and found herself with a variety of violations and an undetermined amount of time in jail.  A judge deemed her "worth saving" and her mother found her a place at Mending Hearts. Because she had only been in the program for a short time, she wouldn't normally be allowed off of the property where she must stay for thirty days, which was across the street from where we were working.  But because of her work history and multiple certificates in construction type labor she was allowed to help us that day.

She shared her story with us all at different times during the day. And she shared all the details. The dirty, the ugly, the hard to hear.  She told us because she genuinely wanted everyone to know and be reminded to "never start doing drugs...they will ruin your life".  During our circle time later, we soon understood that because of our open hearts and giving spirit, D felt comfortable around us. She didn't feel judged, she didn't feel less...she felt empowered. We needed her and she needed us.

There are many other details that I do not feel comfortable sharing, but D was, without a doubt, another important part of the reason we were there.  Her story was shocking and heartbreaking, though we witnessed her hopeful and thankful.  And if at some point during her recovery she feels weak or like she needs something to grab onto; I hope she finds comfort and strength from the short seven hours she shared with us that day.

On Sunday we learned that one person can do a lot. One person can come from the deepest, darkest, ugliest place in life....and make something beautiful out of it...for others.  We learned that while we may feel like we have the right intentions when we look for volunteer opportunities in our day-to-day lives and begin to choose what is the best "fit" for ourselves and what we will benefit from most...what we really should ask is:

what can we do for you?

We were likely the first people that had ever asked Trina that.  She accepted our help, we did work in one short day that she said would have taken her over two weeks.  We didn't tell her what we wanted to get out of visiting her organization, we asked her what we could do.

And that made all the difference.

*name not given and face blurred to protect privacy