fa la la la blah.

real talk, here.

i'm not a Christmas person. and not sure I've ever been, really. Thanksgiving is our family's big day.  but this year, I find myself quite frustrated with the forced celebration.

over the years, we've done away with exchanging gifts by choice; as my siblings and i have been scattered all over,
chasing dreams, schooling,
failing and falling, picking our selves back up {with the help of our parents},
scraping pennies,
living dreams and mostly a good life.

so through every joy and tribulation, christmas has became important for us to simply
gather;
just our immediate family, with no pressure of stressing over gifts...thus our decision to do "pay it forward" christmases.

there's no greater feeling than knowing that i'm going home to celebrate a holiday
and will never have to leave the house,
or get outta my favorite cowgirl pajama bottoms.

there's no greater feeling of awesomeness than hearing about my mom down-sizing our tree to a dead cedar tree josh found for her that she strung lights on and adorned with her favorite ornaments.
{tradition since before my birth, is finding an old cedar tree on the farm and cutting down...they are like charlie brown trees on crack}
-- then hearing that our pet goat, Punkin, ate off some of the limbs before she could get it inside and she never flinched, just scotch taped them back on.

that's right, awesome.

i helped alex wrap several of her 25+ presents last night and watched her exasperated, resentful and a bit remorseful, wondering WHY she is buying gifts for so many people..."just because". i became frustrated for her, and helped her create a proposal to present to her family to change things next year ;)

i watched a real life parking lot feud at the mall yesterday.
two older women. both driving jaguars.
sick.

wondering
    why these "feed the needy" and "warm coats for warm hearts" ads don't run in February, or June or even September.

waiting
     until i no longer her a pop version or another cheesy rendition of "rockin around the christmas tree" {sorry lauren, over it ;) }
    *must add, i will always love any christmas song performed by willie nelson or kenny rogers.

wishing
    everybody would simplify and slow down. enjoy each other.
    just
    enjoy
    each other. that's all.

merry everything + happy always, y'all.