december eve.

It seems like at the end of each month I find myself here again wondering where the last one went. Most of September was spent on the shore, I blamed October for breezing by and now November is turning in for the night.  So here, on this eve of December, now comes the time when I'm supposed to say: "I need to slow down...need stop and smell the roses...need to find a good balance so time doesn't seem to fly by".  

But that's not what I feel like at all.  Or want to say at all.

This crazy life is chaotic, it's fun, heartbreaking and spontaneous, boring and beautiful.

and thankfully, never just 

normal.

I know some folks yearn for that, and I'm sure in my own way, I do too.

But we get to travel a lot. We work and we play and mostly at the same time.

Every single day I am a bit more thankful & enjoy even a little bit more

this life that Collin and I have 

on the road

in between here and there, enjoying the places 

and people 

we love...

in our own time.

We spend a lot of time in the car together.

We've got fast food car eating down to a science; like the best compartments for the french fries and which items to salt and hand over first. 

We know when we need to play certain CD's, when we need to scan the radio and when we need it to be silent.

He begrudgingly lets me roll down the windows on the interstate, which I love to do. And I let him nap even though we try not to sleep when the other is driving; it's all about the company, after all.

Thanksgiving was incredible. and that's an understatement.

After all these years of truly soaking it all in and genuinely appreciating 

our 25 year old tradition, 

of lunch on the front porch, hayrides, bonfires & the thankful circle around the fire

our family's special day....

...never once have I literally felt {in any time or any day in my life} like I was 

literally lifted up and squeezed in an embrace, 

in genuine love.

Never have I, like I did that night. 

Holding hands with my cousins and friends and strangers...

bearing our vulnerabilities and feeling love ooze out of every squeeze of our hands.

It's a feeling I'll never forget. But I'm not the only one who felt it...so many did.

And that's the really cool part. 

 

We're staying put for a few weeks and I think I'm just about ready to get all

merry and bright.

It's certainly cold enough and tomorrow's December. {the first day that I can "officially" decorate anyway}

We'll get a live little pine tree. The saddest one on the lot/farm, I'm sure. And perch it in the corner with its big bulb lights and recycled star topper. We'll savor its ambiance and it's short life lighting up ours.

I'll have a low-key pay it forward Christmas at home. So the pressure and chaos of the 

hustle and bustle, money crunching, over-analyzing shopping 

is non-existent.

that is a beautiful thing.

I've been excited about our New Years plans for over a month but much like the feeling I was itching prior to this little springtime escapade, I'm afraid of my giddy, afraid I'll jinx it...cause it's kinda too good to be true.

So I've slacked on recording so many details, thoughts that cross my mind, holiday reviews and the daily going ons.

But in these little blurbs, where I find myself month after month,

I see that I like to think it all over, without feeling the need to narrate and illustrate in my ocd detail...

I sit here and realize its gone by 

so damn fast, 

but somehow find I comfort and understanding knowing that I've lived each of these thirty days the best way I know how.

and that's all I can ask for; my crazy normal.

happy december.